Monday, June 8





*Kitchen Drawer Snobbery*





Fine, I admit it! I am a full blown snob. I see people like Sandra Lee using a chop prep, a cherry pitter, apple corer, ice cream scooper, banana slicer (banana bill you know who you are), even on my bad days, I judge garlic peeler folks. Why do I judge such kitchen widgets? I feel a sense of real pride when I take the time to do things by hand. This is the same reason why I judge those who brag about making a homemade quilt when they just machine quilted it rather than taking the four months to HAND quilt!

Pardon me? I heard you! No time to hand quilt, or knit, or cook from scratch? Yeah. Right. Let me just ask you. What do YOU do when watching television? My mother had a policy with me that there was no watching television without doing something with my hands. It wouldn't seem like such a small policy would make a lasting impression, but in one summer, I fell hard for the soap "Young and the Restless" and that summer changed my life. I sewed and hand quilted a huge star spangled quilt for my sister Mary as well as created a dizzying array of cross-stitched tea towels. Sad? Ummm no! I would have done almost anything for those precious episodes. *sigh* Needless to say, still when I sit down to watch some of my favorite shows, I must keep my hands busy so I cook, or write, or make budgets. Hmm. Though this is a pleasant sort of digression, perhaps it is time to return to the topic.

Ok, so why do I proudly tout that I am a bonafide snob? Well because I look down on the salad spinners of the world, the beef branders, the panini presser, the meatball grill basket, the non-stick burger press, the pineapple corer, the olive stuffer, the deep fryer, the avocado pitter/slicer! (Yes, I started off the top of my head and then went on to the Williams-Sonoma Catalog) How do people have room for all of that junk! Want to solve your kitchen dilemmas? LEARN TO USE A KNIFE, GET YOUR HANDS ICKY! I concede that there was a time when I purchased a variety of sad little toys. Toys that took up space in my quaint cottage kitchen. For some reason after several purges my still unopened egg coddler remains, my far too expensive and non functional egg topper, my magic-cake baking strips which despite the label STILL allow the edges of the cake rounds to dry and brown, my candy/oil thermometer which has never touched oil, nor seen me make candy. So now, before inviting something to join my little kitchen crew, I consider it for months!

Let me just give you some perspective on this. I consider almost nothing before bringing it home. I have a larger cookbook collection than the Highland Park Library. A year ago, I turned Brian's messy home office into the walk in closet of my dreams with a whole section devoted just to high heels. So why the hypocrisy? Why do I buy a pair of shoes in 4 colors and it took me 7 years to decided it was time to purchase a handheld citrus juicer? Hmm... I like to think it is because I am a purist and take pleasure in standing back judging the excess of others, but really, maybe it is something deeper. Maybe, I'm just jealous of the gourmands kitchen large enough to hold it all.

Ok, now it is your turn:

Please, let me know the most absurd one trick pony that YOU have in your kitchen .

Check out the vegi-chop! You will never need to use a knife again!
http://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/sku5834783/index.cfm?pkey=ccook-tool-top-rated

3 comments:

Mary Elizabeth Liberty said...

that chopper thing you linked to is hilarious~

but just this week you were telling me I absolutely needed to go out and buy a microplane to zest my citrus, when I have great success using my cheese grater...

and I think salad spinners are a necessary evil. One that I don't have but wish I did.

bdmalouf said...

Mary, despite the joy that centrifugal force provides, I just wash salad and layer it in the fridge with paper towels between them. And as far as your citrus zester goes, send me out naked into the wilderness and I would bring that sucker with me. One bad run in with the bitter pith was enough for me!

Heather Addie said...

I miss my chocolate factory. It was just a double broiler pan so I could make all kinds of cute chocolate concoctions..... It was a cheap, good time.....