*This I Believe*

-Marriage is a process, not an event.
-The twilight series rocks! If you deny it, it is because you either haven't read them yet, or like to lie.

-Never eat the last bite, all the fat is in the last bite.

-Wickedness sometimes IS happiness.
-Yes, your voice really sounds like that.
-If you think that it is a hassle to shave your face, don't ask us to shave our legs.

-If it looks that good on you, get it in all the colors!

-Shoot, you want a boob job, satisfy your bliss.
-I love my body, learn to love yours.

-It is only money.
-Never hold a compliment.
-Fine, I admit it. I am hard to buy gifts for.

-Hitting on someone at their job is just rude, after all, they are being paid to be nice to you.
-Ohio, Iowa, and the Dakotas just don't count. No offense.
-Just like you find fault in my family, and think I have it rough, I am thinking the same thing about yours. The good news is, we get to live our own lives, not each others.
-A photograph lasts forever so... yes, those pants do make you look fat.
-If you keep having problems with coworkers from one job to the next, YOU are the problem.
-Go ahead, you deserve it!
-Church is too long.
-Give until it hurts.
-Have you ever meet anyone who arrogance or cockiness look good on? I haven't.
-Running is for gerbils on an exercise wheel. We have adopted it, and that's cool, but lets not forget who it is made for.
-It is exhausting to be charming all the time, so give us a break.
-The better you dress, the better you are treated. So do not go around wrinkled.
-Fish and house guests start to stink after three days.
-Never trust a skinny cook.

-The "Not to be rude" game is the greatest game of all. Watch! Not to be rude but that shirt looks great on you! Or not to be rude but I love having you around. No matter what, it is rude!
-Crazy is OK so long as it is unintentional and you rock at apologies.
-If your apartment is ugly, blame the landlord, if your house is ugly, blame the owner.
-I'm cancelling my subscription to your issues. (thanks Ram)

-Not all babies are cute. Some take your breath away, and not in the good way.
-People are nicer to your kids if they are dressed well.
-Though advice is fun to give, it may be wise to hold it in. It can create scars.
-Smoking is tacky... I don't care how cool you think you look, you smell.
-Cheap perfume is never worth it. Your budget punishes the rest of us.
-For you to ignore a family that loves you is your prerogative, but keeping your kids away from family that loves them, makes you evil.

-If I keep calling you a cute pet name like love or sunshine or sugar, that means that I don't know your real name.
-Reality TV allows us to be a voyeur in a socially appropriate way.
-Being constantly late means that you value yourself more than others.
-The more you horde, the less you have.
-I am a bad neighbour, and I like it that way.
-Cookies and cream ice cream solves essentially all of life's issues.
-Not all children are loved equally.

-Just because Bush was a total moron, doesn't mean that Obama rocks. I know, lets keep spending monopoly money! But Bush was horrible, yeah, and?
-Often old people are abrasive so that we don't overlook them. Squeaky wheel, right?
-All that is tacky is housed in Florida. Google eyes on seashells, Miami airport, really?
-Men really do want a women to be home and take care care of them. A hot dinner isn't that out of whack. Maybe June Cleaver knows something.
-He with the most friends on Facebook wins.
-If you choose to have kids, they deserve to have you raise them.
-Blogging makes us feel that what we have to say is somehow important.
-I love my nieces and nephews that I see often, not those whose names I don't recall.
-I like to be superficially superficial.
-The more righteous you claim to be, the less I believe you.
-Overdrafts are because you are bad with money, not because the bank if out to get you.
-This post is slightly abrasive.