*Brilliant things I have really heard at the bank*
1)I don't understand how I am overdrawn $800! I kept checking my balance and the more I took out, the more it said that I had!
*Hmmm.... How do I explain that there is no magical ATM fairy that adds money to the account the more you take out of it. Oh, a world with no pesky negative signs to obsess about.
2)My account is positive now, but for some reason, the overdraft fees have not been reversed! My husband said that now that we have brought it positive you had to do it. So hurry up and reverse all $600 of fees, NOW!
*Well, I will start by saying, I was willing to go ahead and be super generous and reverse half of the fees. I get it, life happens. I informed the client that this is a one time customer service courtesy. My thanks? Oh, she actually yelled at me as she informed me that all other banks reverse all overdraft fees automatically when accounts are no longer negative. Yeah, I encouraged her to go ahead and call around to compare me to anyone else. I know I'm more amazing than anyone out there. Well, she spent the next month checking with every bank and credit union in town, only to then return still yelling to demand the half I originally offered, and you should know that I never got a thanks either.
3) I will hunt you down and kill you if you don't reverse my fees!
* This threat while delightful over the phone at work, picked up significance when the client called the customer service number hours later to let them the now detailed plan of my demise. The good news is that I got a paid day off while the police got involved and the local preacher man went to visit the jail.
and my favorite comment in general because it is so often said and yet so rarely true:
4) I didn't authorize that charge!
* My job is to take these charges seriously and begin a fraud claim, but the fun is to milk the time to watch the interaction between my clients. It is amazing how long many spouses take to fess up to their spending money as I sit there very slowly filling out the many pages of forms. Yes ladies, he did sign up to and get that free trial offer, and gentlemen, those are her clothing charges to her favorite store. Thieves don't usually have such similar tastes. Eventually, through small talk and light banter, our little chats typically end with each of the clients making their confessions while sitting across from me at my desk. Ah they joys of playing marriage counselor. It's ok! I was in one of those couples last year too! There is hope for us all.
*Hmmm.... How do I explain that there is no magical ATM fairy that adds money to the account the more you take out of it. Oh, a world with no pesky negative signs to obsess about.
2)My account is positive now, but for some reason, the overdraft fees have not been reversed! My husband said that now that we have brought it positive you had to do it. So hurry up and reverse all $600 of fees, NOW!
*Well, I will start by saying, I was willing to go ahead and be super generous and reverse half of the fees. I get it, life happens. I informed the client that this is a one time customer service courtesy. My thanks? Oh, she actually yelled at me as she informed me that all other banks reverse all overdraft fees automatically when accounts are no longer negative. Yeah, I encouraged her to go ahead and call around to compare me to anyone else. I know I'm more amazing than anyone out there. Well, she spent the next month checking with every bank and credit union in town, only to then return still yelling to demand the half I originally offered, and you should know that I never got a thanks either.
3) I will hunt you down and kill you if you don't reverse my fees!
* This threat while delightful over the phone at work, picked up significance when the client called the customer service number hours later to let them the now detailed plan of my demise. The good news is that I got a paid day off while the police got involved and the local preacher man went to visit the jail.
and my favorite comment in general because it is so often said and yet so rarely true:
4) I didn't authorize that charge!
* My job is to take these charges seriously and begin a fraud claim, but the fun is to milk the time to watch the interaction between my clients. It is amazing how long many spouses take to fess up to their spending money as I sit there very slowly filling out the many pages of forms. Yes ladies, he did sign up to and get that free trial offer, and gentlemen, those are her clothing charges to her favorite store. Thieves don't usually have such similar tastes. Eventually, through small talk and light banter, our little chats typically end with each of the clients making their confessions while sitting across from me at my desk. Ah they joys of playing marriage counselor. It's ok! I was in one of those couples last year too! There is hope for us all.
*The sweet life of a banker*
2 comments:
It's always funny to me when John calls and asks that late fees be reversed. If they ask why, he just says, "well, because I want you to."
Even funnier is that they usually actually do it.
To be fair, I usually say please!
Post a Comment